Whats Up or Down.

What Penguins of Madagascar have got to do with a job.

2010-01-04T21:02:00.002+08:00

Like woah, I finally got a job today, much thanks to miss bay who helped me get introduced and all (: Its been a very poor holiday for me, and I do hope I'll get enough cash out of this stint to get me a couple'a plates of chicken rice haha. But excited as I am, I'm still really nervous. They just hired me today. At 5pm. And I've gotta get to Bendemeer Sec by 0745 tmr morning to start instructing. Problem is, I haven't the slightest clue how and what to instruct, and to be honest, I haven't roller bladed in a loooooooong time. Haha, but not to worry! Not knowing how to instruct, or not being able to roller blade are just tiny little setbacks in being a roller blade instructor. It doesn't really matter.

All we gotta do is just remember boys, cute and cuddly. Cuute and cuddly.

Kangaroo

2009-12-07T01:20:00.005+08:00

Hello all you people! You guys have gotta see this. Amazing guy with amazing videos. PLUS he's got really cool costumes lol. Check this out.

KANGAROO

ROCKY

AWESOME SHOOTING

NYTV Awards

2009-12-06T22:48:00.001+08:00

Prom was awesome. Post-Prom was awesome-mer. Photos are up on facebook though.

Shagged.

2009-11-28T02:22:00.003+08:00

you wouldn't know.

Le Bibliotheque

2009-09-29T23:33:00.005+08:00

was the place of quiet and peace. But yet at the same time, the same rage and turmoil was boiling within each and every one of them. Their angst and withheld temper seething through their faintly-yellowed teeth as they scratched down hard on the paper on which they wrote; some in english, others in french. So engrossed were they in their work that they barely noticed the shadow slipping and weaving in and out of the bookcases, appearing only for a fraction of time before vanishing yet again. It swept on by, sneaking glances at those around, looking for the one who would be foolish enough to speak to any other. Why? It was thirsting. Thirsting to squelch the voices of those who dared to raise it. This was how it was in Le Bibliotheque. So it was indeed.

We all need a push sometimes.

2009-09-19T02:51:00.003+08:00

Relationships and me don't get along too well.

There's always something inside my head,

Telling me to back away every time I draw near.

Telling me that it's just gonna be a repeat.

Telling me that its never gonna work.

And I've been agreeing with it so far.

But, is it still possible?

I really wanna find out..

Synesthesia.

2009-09-09T23:26:00.004+08:00

Don't we all have it in some way.

Over the Non-existant Yellow Brick Road

2009-08-23T02:22:00.005+08:00

The Wizard of Oz is such a huge lie.

There was never a Wizard, or any place, thing or whatever called Oz.

The Scarecrow never moved, or thought up any bright ideas. He was a lumpy pile of hay and straw.

The Lion never got scared. Not even when he realised he was a man in a lousy excuse of a lion suit.

The Tin Man never cared. No, he never did. He just laughed his hollow, malleable, metallic laugh.

And Dorothy never left Kansas. No she didn't. How do I know? Only cos she was with me the whole time. In the wheat fields. The towering yellow wheat fields that concealed everything and soon smelled of... ah nevermind. Hehheh..

I'm so gonna get screwed by Dorothy when she gets back from the wheat fields and hears about this. Apparently she's in another land this time. One filled with peas and muffins. Hahaha. But Im not there. Mines the one with Munchkins. Oh well, Dorothy would always return to Oz one day. Thats where they get the 'Dorothy Returns to Oz' sequel.

Hahaha dammit, boredom gets me going. The previous two sentences were inspired by a game I played last time! Alice Returns to Wonderland.

Lol anw, everything above is totally bullshit.

No truth in it at all.

So, Yes The Wizard of Oz exists.

Or does he?

To be eloquent in the language where the profiencient use of it in moderation would allow me the subtle training of the mind and the tongue,

2009-08-16T21:27:00.007+08:00

I write this title. Haha. That was just for the fun of it, but on to the real stuff.

My parents brought me out for a treat today and we went to CARNIVORE BRAZILIAN CHURRASCARIA. Haha, the caps wasn't for the effect. It's really spelt like that so I thought I'd give it the honour of typing it properly, cos the food was goooood. Its like a meat buffet with a salad bar for sides! Chunks of meat just come falling down onto your plate, (literally!) cos the waiters hold these huge chunks of meat on giant skewers which they cut in front of you with big pointy knives that they point at you (see the pointiness!) when asking if you want any. You guys should try it someday. if I'm not wrong the lunch buffet is till 3. :D Yum.

Oh and this just reminded me of this saying I've heard of. "The way to a Man's heart is through his stomach." And you know, in some ways, that Could be true. I've gotta ask my buds what they think about it though..

OH haha and i just remembered again. There's like another saying that goes, "The way to a Man's heart is through his chest." ouch. D: But I guess that's true too. Lol.

Anw, on the not-so-bright and slightly gloomy side, As are coming. And I'm not prepared.. :/ Darn scary.

Wow..

2009-07-27T20:50:00.000+08:00

I love 73. ^^

Latest Boyband in town!

2009-07-10T22:28:00.004+08:00

They've got a singer, and three others who like to sing.

They've got matching outfits.

They've got ties.

They've even got 'We Look Like A Boyband Photos!'

Presenting the CCGJ:

[Open the image URLs for optimum viewing pleasure lol]

Awesome. (:

Some Pictures..

2009-07-07T14:42:00.001+08:00

They aren't always all that great...

Hai Guys

2009-06-30T19:27:00.003+08:00

Hey there people, exams just started eh? Ya know, I've been listening to Michael Bublé lately when I'm studying, or just up in my room. And he's awesome. Seriously. Some of the songs I like are Lost, Everything, Home, Wonderful Tonight, Always on My Mind, and a few others that I can't remember right now. Really, really good.

Alright, maths tomorrow. Another fun 3 hours. ~^~

Congrats, you got yourself a post.

2009-06-27T01:49:00.003+08:00

Seriously, why are there these people tagging on my tagboard retarded stuff that I have never said or done before? No, I don't think I can get any girl. No, I don't go around being a retard thinking I'm well-liked. But Yes I do talk about girls, not all the time of course, but I do. Because IM A GUY. But wtf is up with 'girls girls girls are all you talk about and want'? If you people are actually guys, you must have really low testosterone levels to even be saying this. Because guys talk about girls. Period. Plus you obviously don't know me at all. Actually I doubt I even talk to you. I try to keep myself away from people like you, you see. Those that do these kinda really stupid things. You know why you can't put your name? Its not cause you're scared of me. There's nothing scary about me. Its cos you're scared of other people knowing who you are, those who will be talking about you, like how you and your group of friends talk about others. Maybe not talk actually. More like gossip.

I go around in school and have fun with my friends like all of you do, and keep my head low at other times. I've been friendly to those friendly to me, and don't make an ass out of myself in public. What have I said or done that has warranted this bullshit? If you guys actually have something worthwhile to say, say it. Don't go around acting like little girls trying to say bad stuff about people just cause you're oh-so deeply hurt by something. I actually thought that people in JC have all grown up, but apparently not.

Learn to be more mature please.

Have a problem with someone and it bothers you, talk to the person face to face. Have a problem with someone you don't give a damn about, then Don't give a damn about that person! He's still giving you problems? Then go back to the first sentence of this paragraph.

You watch yourself.

Damnnnn funny..

2009-06-21T21:10:00.001+08:00

Haha you guys should seriously check this out man.

How To be Ninja!

Back!

2009-06-21T17:10:00.003+08:00

Heyhey guys, looks like I left it off over here in a not so exultant tone. So i've been trying desperately to study while I've been away, and I've actually managed to do a little.. Hah. Yeah.. Anw, I had my three days of holidays that were just awesome. Was out pretty much the entire 3 days with friend(s), had fun chatting and doing shit, and had a little to drink. (:

Anw, its back to studies for now. Or at least attempts at studying. I'll post some pics up next time. Theres me and my churchies at bottle tree park, me and that-girl-i-met#6 and me and that-girl-i-met#372. Hahahah. d= Nah.

Oh yes, and i just had an xray done for my teeth yesterday, and looks like the roots of my two bottom wisdom teeth are growing dangerously close to some 2 main nerves or smth. Dentist said it's gonna be pretty tough so it won't just be an extraction. It'll be a SURGERY...

Haha the blank space was to let that sink in for a moment.. But nah, its probably just another extraction.. After my As probably? He was saying. You gotta do it Immediately after As. So i guess I'll be missing out on going out for a day or so. Haha damn.

Alrightalright, its time to go. So, I'll see all you soon yeah (: Missing you guys already..

Boredom and a Spinning Head..

2009-06-12T01:07:00.003+08:00

I don't know whats doing it, but maybe its the stuff i drowned myself in earlier. Its got to me I think. Stuff from not long ago are coming back into my mind and I'm just thinking again.. Wondering. Contemplating. Sheesh.

I'm gonna drown myself till I can't remember no more. And I think I'll actually enjoy it. It'll be like dying, and living again.

You know, I think I've changed quite abit compared to when I was younger. It feels as though my moral values are crashing down as I grow older. It may have been cause my morals were like really upright then or smth? Back then I was wondering why people do the things that I now either do, or am seriously tempted to do.. Its as though, somehow, I know that one day it'll happen. Like, one day, I'll stop giving a damn about the shit I am wary of now, and just dive head in into all that. And I'll be relishing it. Every moment of it.

Alright, my fingers aren't even typing the right letters anymore, and my mind is feeling all messed up. I think I'll be off to sleep..

-fagged.

Lucky

2009-06-06T17:54:00.002+08:00

Awesome song. Awesome singers. Awesome girl lol.

just had to add in that last sentence haha.

link's here!

Muse.

2009-06-02T19:48:00.001+08:00

Theory of a Deadman - Not Meant To Be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJuNiZkbtlA

It's never enough to say I'm sorry

It's never enough to say I care

But I'm caught between what you

Wanted from me, and knowing

If I give that to ya

I might just disappear.

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

Oh, it's like

One step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad

And I can't change your mind,

Oh, it's like

Trying to turn around on a one way street

I can't give you what you want

And it's killing me and I, I'm starting to see

Maybe we're not meant to be

It's never enough to say I love you

No, it's never enough to say I try

It's hard to believe that's there's

No way out for you and me

And it seems to be,

The story of our life

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad

And I can't change your mind, oh

It's like trying to turn around on a

One way street. I can't give

You what you want and it's killing me

And I, I'm starting to see

That maybe we're not meant to be

There's still time to turn this around

Should we be building this up

Instead of tearing it down

But I keep thinking

Maybe it's too late.

It's like one step forward

And two steps back,

No matter what I do

You're always mad

And I, can't change your mind, oh

It's like tryin to turn around

On a one way street

I can't give you what you want

And it's killing me and I,

I finally see,

Baby we're not meant to be

It's like one step forward,

And two steps back,

No matter what I do

You're always mad,

And I, Baby I'm sorry to see,

Maybe we're not meant to be

___

Nice.

Alone.

2009-05-27T21:47:00.003+08:00

someone take me away.

take me far away.

so i can't find my way back.

and I'll be lost. But not alone.

Anyway, apart from all that, looks like the school term's coming to an end for a month. Will definitely miss all you guys in school! Yes even all you people that I rarely ever say hi too cos I'm too Shy. Haha. Yup. Had Astons with 3 of my classmates today and it was awesome, after that we walked around serangoon gardens and explored abit. Saw some cool stuff, plus a special cage for our class mascot! I've gotta say, serangoon gardens would be a lovely place to live in. The environment is just so non-singapore-ish.. like where else can you find narrow bricked roads with benches below trees in the middle of them!

Yup. Awesome. School should cancel assembly altogether and let us go on food hunting trips around singapore :D agree?

Sluggish.

2009-05-21T17:46:00.001+08:00

Hey guys! I'm back. I've been on MC for the past 2 days, and the first day was fine cos of all the catching up on sleep and all, but today was seriously treading thinly on the edge of utter boredom. :/ I need my friends see. D: Haha, anyway, its been raining start-stop for the whole afternoon and I've been reading my geog notes a little at a time. A little dampening on the mood, but the weather's awesome when the rain stops. (:

Just a random thought: I Can't wait for my 18th birthday. :D

My friend just linked me this MV.. Tells a pretty sad story..

Check it out here yeah.

Enjoy (:

[its jap btw, if you dont like jap and all. im no big fan, but its worth a look!]

Yup, anw its gonna be crazy study mode pretty soon, with As coming up and all. Plus I'm rather far behind. So I've gotta start soon..

Annd, for those that are interested, I'll be at amk library monday-friday every week during the june hols. Haha okay maybe not EVERY of those monday-fridays, but I'll be there often. So if you need a study buddy (oo it rhymes!), just give me a ring alright?

Thought provoking thoughts.

2009-05-18T16:23:00.000+08:00

1>Have we ever wondered what kind of people we are? Many a time we are just ignorant about it, or we don't even care.

2>What is it about us that makes our friends want to be with us?

3>And what is it about us that makes others distance themselves from us?

4>But the main question is, if we look at our lives that we have led thus far, what do we actually think of ourselves? What do we think about all we have done? And what do we think about what we did not do?

5>What do we see in ourselves that we know is right and can be truly be proud of, and not merely proud of because of our ego?

6>Do we see ourselves as being someone who cares more for others, or for ourselves? Would we do something for others at the expense of something that we treasure for ourselves? It may be the reputation for some, or time for others. Would we? Or have we?

7>Lastly, even when we know what we are like, do we show our good side often enough? Do we try to fix our flaws? And how much effort do we put into fixing those flaws? Enough to really help us change? Or merely enough to Show ourselves that we are trying even though very often, it doesn't seem to work?

I'm just throwing some thoughts into this little box. If this post seems like its talking to you, pointing its stubby little finger accusingly at you, then my reader, I'm sure we have things to work on! If it doesn't, then good job living your life, I'm sure many love to have you around.. (:

But frankly, I think I've got much to change, and I can't wait to do so. Its not gonna be easy, but I'm up for the challenge. Because I'd rather live a life making others happy more often than making myself happy. So here's a shoutout to my buds out there, give me a heads-up when you think I need to change something. Nicely though haha. And this starts now. [:

Hooters.

2009-05-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

the place with the awesome menus AND toilets. (with really good pictures and all. lol.) I mean, they had a huge wall of pretty darn good pictures right in your face when you stood at the urinal to pee. like shiet. how do you pee when you have all those pics in your face! You'd probably have other stuff flowing into the urinal. Thats probably the only toilet I've been to that has a good reason why their urinals are white. rofl. D:

ANYWAY. Had a great time there celebrating potato's birthday. Their chicken wings were awesome. we got like 100 of them :D And it was damnnnnn funny when they dressed potato up like one of the hooter's girls, with a wig and feathery scarf and all. haha. we were like laughing our heads off. Here are just a couple of pics of us:

Extra special highlight of the night: Jacques got drunk drinking really expensive mineral water. LOL.

2009-04-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! I just got the permission from my awesome friend who took this awesome photo with a phone camera! No editing and stuff. The way some of the clouds blend in the background and the way the others jump out of the picture in the midst of the HDB blocks make it seem so unreal, but yet so real at the same time.

What a wonderful world we live in.

If we really open our eyes to it, In everything and everyone,

only beauty will we see.

Hellos!

2009-04-12T16:22:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! its time for a quick little update. (:

Its been a boring weekend and I didn't really go out much. But guess what, I've been eating cookie after cookie. [So let's call it the cookie weekend. awesome. :D] Anyway, their the huge, round subway ones with big chunks of chocolate in them. (: yum. and well, the box of 12 is down to 2 now. haha. damn. :/ its time to start rationing.

On the topic of food, I had lunch at Vivo earlier today and it was damnnn good. Ate at this place called Dian Xiao Er on the second level of Vivo and the food was just awesome. Had some 6 or 7 course meal where every single course was awesome! And their well known for their roast duck, which of course, was awesome as well. Apparently there's this thing about awesome today, and its really hard to put it in words and all, so I'll just leave it as:

Awesome this + Awesome that =

Pure Awesome-ness.

Haha. Yup. Oh and do you guys realise something? The more you stare at any word, like 'awesome', the stranger it looks? Like your eyes are slowly breaking it into its syllables and your brain just catches on to 'awe' and 'some'. Lol. Randomosities of life.

Anyway, its time for me to get back to my cookies, and MAYBE start on abit of work which I've barely touched this entire weekend.. Life really sucks nowadays. Its like we HAVE to study 24/7 or we just fall behind.. Plus I cant believe some guy got straight As for block test. Like woah. o.o Though he's probably some scholar and all.

So yup, cya all my loyal little readers [: I'll try to keep the updates more regular yeah..

Its the 5th. and Im feeling so far away..

2009-04-05T17:45:00.000+08:00

Just a fear.

---

I don't wanna be just another guy, or just another crush.

not this time. not ever.

I don't wanna be the guy who's everything you could want,

but not the one you want.

---

Tell me I'm being silly.

Tell me its not true.

Tell me that Im the one you want.

And I'll smile to myself for the entire day.

And the rest of the days after that.

---

Today's real post:

I've been feeling so weird the entire day, I don't know if you can sense it.

But I can't put my finger on it.

It feels like I need someone next to me, whom I know is there for me,

who will just turn to give me a hug, and to whom I can do the same.

Someone who shares something special with me, and only me.

And it doesn't matter whether its silence between us or not.

Its just that person being there that matters..

And I wanna be that someone for you too..

hm.

Orientation 2009!

2009-04-04T21:57:00.001+08:00

Hey guys! Just reminiscing the past right now. And I realised I forgot to put up orientation pictures! So here's just what I've got right now (: Orientation was rather fun, thanks to the really retardedly funny ogls, and our ogms..

Enjoy :)

Lol Random pictures with foreigners at Sentosa. It was some activity that we had to do.. Some of them actually didn't want to take pictures with us cos they were pissed that so many groups of people were just constantly running to them and asking for photos every few steps they took.

These were the friendlier ones lol:

Day 4! [Day 3 was CCA Bazaar, so I dont have any pictures of that ):] Just before disco night and just after dinner! Everyone was gearing up for the night already and we were just taking pictures and having some fun :D

I think we were ABOUT to watch the dancing king and queen nominees dance. The guy dancers were amazing thise year, but frankly I still prefer RJ's dancing for the girls haha.

Just after disco night! With all the lights on and stuff. Pretty much drenched in sweat but you can't really see it from here.. It was fun.. It was. (: [Haha, I paused to think back.] Oh yes, I remember, at the ending of disco night I got partnered up with RJ on stage! And yeah, pretty awesome. (:

Marty 5!

Here are a few pictures that I have of the people I specially wanna thank for helping me throughout orientation. Their great people yeah (:

[Haha I realised I don't have a picture of the 3 "jo's" together..

But it was jocelyn, jolyn and joshua!]

Jocelyn!

Jolyn!

Bay!

Marlene!

ZhengHui!

[Lol can you believe it, he's my kindergarten friend.]

And not forgetting all the other ogls and councillors who've been a great help! I don't have your pictures, but yeah. you're appreciated (:

And hello miss i-look-very-mature-especially-with-makeup!

Hope you're having fun now (:

Can't get you off my mind..

Actually, its more like I don't wanna. :)

Never Expected These.

2009-04-04T00:03:00.001+08:00

>Words cant describe the disappointment i'm feeling right now..

>But anyway! I'm going swimming tmr, followed by touch rug! All nicely scheduled to fit into the morning.

>And something's changing. Cos I've been getting some sort of feeling recently. Something I haven't felt in a long time. And its a good thing. It makes me smile. (:

Something's Wrong.

2009-03-27T21:52:00.000+08:00

I can feel it inside me. I've never felt this way before.

Something is there, but isn't there at the same time.

It feels like I can reach it, but I can't.

I'm stuck. And I feel I'm slowly losing my mind.

What do I really want? Which want of mine can I actually get?

I fear how short life actually is. How little time we have.

The days pass us by like a gale.

Anyone of us could be here one day and gone the next.

What if it were me. Almost 18 years are gone, what's left?

How much difference would I have made?

Who would care?

Our lifes can't keep up with the speed that time moves.

Why do we stay where we are?

Who are we to leave people behind?

Nobody stops to care about those left behind by others.

Why?

It's a cruel world. Lets not make it any worse.

We all need abit of love.

Some need it more than others.

I'm doing my best to give what I have.

But don't let me run dry.

[Amazing as you are.]

You know I need you.

Your words. Your actions. And you.

edit: HowmushycanIget. -.-

I could write the above sentence because I read the post again 20 minutes after I typed it.

but i guess i really do need things from the one that affects my life the most.

Something i'd love,

are the sweet nothings that just make your heart skip a beat and leave you smiling to yourself.

Those that someone whispers into your ear as and when they feel like.

Those that come in a text in the middle of the night.

Those that let you know just how much you're loved when you're down.

Those that are said, simply because that someone loves you that much.

I don't know if I'm much of a romantic.

But I'd like to have one who is.

Or who could be if she knew it'd make me happy.

HELLO PEOPLE.

2009-03-21T21:12:00.000+08:00

Alright. After a long long period of sitting in other peoples' showers and thinking about stuff, I've actually posting a post. with pictures. cool non-emo pictures. :D

I'll start with a something cool I saw not long ago..

This rainbow popped up right above the street I was living on, stretching from one end to the other. I couldn't even get the whole rainbow to fit into the picture!

Rainbows are one thing, but playing around with cute little horsies and a spongebob in the lit room is another matter entirely!

Thats me and Chia How with our mighty stallions!

And that, for you my dear readers, is your affable little blogger with spongebob! =D
Never. EVER. Come between me and spongebob. Or laugh at us. Or even GIGGLE.
I'm watching you.
[Haha, its an inside joke. We were fighting over spongebob. He was the least dirty/dusty/shmoofy soft toy. D:]

Okay and now here's a little personal collection I'm trying to start, its called Joshua and the 20 cent rides! [Though the price has risen to crazy amounts, like as much as 2 bucks?] Haha. Anyways, just to get things going, heres two of them!
Cookie monster ride@Harbourfront Centre!

Thomas the Engine ride@United Square!

Oh yes, talking about United Square[dammit i KEEP SPELLING SQAURE WRONG. haha.] Anyway, I had a buffet dinner there on friday night! It was a treat by a special lady in my life. My grandma. (: Lol. Yup, anyway we had dinner at a place called Vienna. Though half-expecting like posh local/angmoh waiters and waitresses to go with the name, every single one of them were chinx. every. single. one. Haha, but the food was damnnn good though. Me and my cousin spammed the alcoholic peppermint drink. I had like 7 cups or smth :D Hah. It wasn't all that alcoholic though. And it tasted like mouthwash.. ><

Hokay, and here comes the finale. THE finale. Of pictures from a boy's[MAN's] phone. This is what happens to you when you're stuck in a situation where you can't get a girl.. Guys. Who else can give you more love than anyone else when you're in that situation? Scroll down to find out (:
[Only in that situation dudes, if you already have a girl, its an obvious decision what you should do instead.]Threesome.

Threesome yet again. :D Guess our lucky number haha.

Alright thats all for now! It's good to be back.. I'll post again soon yeah!

Anyway just a small note!
Apologies for the not-so-good quality pictures..
Their from a 2mp phone camera. AND.
This post is entirely made to make you laugh (:
Especially the finale!
And its especially for a poohbearlover's enjoyment.
:D

2009-03-18T22:54:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, sorry for the really seldom posts which usually turn out quite un-fun. All you loyal readers deserve better! And guess what, I've got just a couple of pictures for you guys to enjoy. And they'll be up pretty soon! Say, by the next post?

A whole new side of this little blog's writer.

Hehheh. Don't kill yourself while you're in suspense. And yes of course, I know all you people miss me. I miss you guys too :D Yup, even you, the one staring at this right now.

'Cept for chiahow d=

but seriously, we need to catch up. (: its been too long.

And the Thinking, here it Starts.

2009-03-18T22:44:00.000+08:00

sitting in the bathtub under the shower.

thinking, as the water pours down on me.

there's no time, yet so much to do.

what happens next?

btw my friends, it's time for us to catch up.

2009-02-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

Honestly, I'm finding myself in the exact same position as you right now.

Think hard and you'll know what I mean.

This only goes on for so long.

I guess care and concern is something I would love to give to you, but apparently the things that are going on right now are making me think twice. There will come a point where you will have to choose too, like him, and that point is not very far away..

I'm truly confounded by the way you treat me while you're treating him like that. I think that if I were to care for my ex that way right now, you wouldn't even bother about me one bit. I'm not asking you to stop treating me the way you do, but I simply cannot live with the fact that someone special to me is treating me as specially as that other guy.

I've got a little issue with the trust between us too. Who is to say what you have done, are doing, or are capable of doing, when we both know that you are so ready to do so many things. Though I really want to, there are times when I simply cannot bring myself to trust you. Don't blame it entirely on me being paranoid or whatever. Frankly, you haven't really done anything that has strengthened my trust in you. What I've noticed is the secrets that you somehow have to keep from me and the way you treat guys. Like him. Tell me I'm wrong when I say that these don't help one bit in the amount of trust I have in you. Okay, maybe we just got to know each other not too long ago and all, but that doesn't change the fact that keeping all these secrets does make me terribly suspicious.

You've asked, why am I always so moody? I am partly to blame, but maybe sometimes, you should ask yourself that question too..

I know that there are many things you have done for me, like accompanying me to study, making time to spend with me and all. You do the most touching things and send the loveliest messages. But is there anything special about that, because I see things like that happening between you and the other guys. Somehow, sometimes you give me the impression you're totally uninterested. I feel so dispensable by the fact that when I'm not with you, there is always someone else. And one day, I'll probably just be dumped aside when I'm no longer needed. Am I just here to fill the void someone else left. Or am I really wanted here in your life.

I have come to this point, where I'm almost on the edge of just letting go and walking away. But who's to say, it was nothing to begin with. Like what you once said him. You keep saying that you are all pissed off and unhappy with him, but I was dumbfounded when I heard you went to have dinner with him. And worse still, you had to keep his identity a secret when you were talking about him to your friends because I was around.

You know, to me you're this bubbly, cheerful girl who is so full of life. Yet at the same time, you seem so capable of being this cold, ruthless person who will dish out terribly torturous punishments to anyone who makes you unhappy. Sometimes, I don't know what to make of you.

I do want to let you know, you're my one and only right now and you have my undivided attention. I'll support you and I'll be there for you. But there will come a point when I want to receive the same amount of love from you. And I'm saying love, not like or any other form of feeling, because I find myself sinking deeper into it. And only love could have made me do the things I've done, and even bothering to even type this out when every sentence I type makes my heart cringe because I know how upset it will make you. But I have to write how I feel, and I hope you will understand, and do something about it. I don't want to have to disappear from your life.

Maybe I'm a fool. Maybe I've been getting the wrong message all along. Maybe what you have for me, is not what I have for you. Maybe one day you'll come to me and say "I'm sorry, I'm choosing him." Maybe there's more to it than what I've heard. Maybe I'm holding you back from the one you really want. Maybe I should back off. Maybe you'll agree. These Insecurities. Their tearing me down.

*I have given much thought in this, and this is how I feel right now. So please, try to understand where I'm coming from and use it to understand me more. Unless of course you don't want to.

2009-02-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

hey guys,
i know i haven't been blogging for a long time now. so, heres a short little post (:

block test is coming up round the corner and i'm sure the bulk of sane humankind are getting pretty panicky or crazy about it. there's barely a week left to study and most of us have not covered even half the stuff we need to revise. i'm pretty sure we all can relate to that. :/

but i guess someone has been brightening up my life quite abit.. and honestly, i didnt think things would start working out this way.. but i just wanna thank that person a whole lot (: u actually make studying fun. and you seem determined to make me fatten up. with a kg of jelly beans :D

2009-01-18T14:31:00.000+08:00

SENTOSA! with my churchies again haha.
Enjoy the pictures yeah (:

2009-01-18T14:22:00.000+08:00

Lots and Lots of Pictures coming up!
LaserQuest with muh churchies during the hols i think! Really cool, and I ran too much me thinks :P Sentosa pics coming up soon!

2009-01-02T02:16:00.000+08:00

Went to sentosa today with my churchies! Was really great fun and lotsa retarded stuff happened (: I bought beef chilli cheese fries before we went to sentosa so I could eat it at the beach.. But someone just had to kope the fries with her sandy hands! [miss dingbat-caller] It kinda was still beef chilli cheese fries with all the beef and chilli.. and cheese. except for the grainy little sand bits everywhere! BUT don't you worry, i forgive you (:

Helped set up the volleyball court before we started playing. Muh friend has an actual volleyball court he carries in a bag thats no longer than any one of you! Its shaped like this: ------ but think much thicker. and without all the gaps in between.

Anyway, we played volleyball, touch rugby and frisbee! Well, I didn't play frisbee, but the girls did (: I was busy helping set up the volleyball stuff! [nice boy, i knowww ;)] So we played quite abit here and there but apparently it started raining on and off. But in nice short intervals where we could catch our breaths and kope drinks before playing again.

Before we left sentosa, we had a final 4v4 game of volleyball!

Chris, Jemmy, Charlene and Joshua[me!]
vs
Jireh, Isaac, Peiying and Daniel!

And our team owned! Teamwork and Raw Skill TTM :D Haha.
After that, we bathed and went back to vivo for dinner at pastamania! Chicken, ham and sausage baked rice is just awesome.. And so is throwing ice cubes at charlene :P But hey! She started it.. shooting tiny ice spits at me.

Walked to FOREVER21 cos grace wanted to see if there were job vacancies there i think? [for the discount lol] But charlene went crazy the whole way from pastamania to the shop! She was throwing her red rubber ball at my head THE ENTIRE WAY. And running around trying to stop me from getting the ball from her. in THRONGS of people. Haha, nvm it was fun eh =D

Sadly though, all of them have school tomorrow.. Except me! I'll be going to a chalet :D Haha i'm sorry guys, just had to poke it in ya know.

PS:
Charlene got cut by this rusty plier that was sticking out of the sand. Who brings pliers to the beach?! What are you gonna do with it? Ply the sand or something?
Hordes of Indian workers were at Sentosa. Everywhere. Holding Hands.
Cheryl told this damn funny racist joke.[I could tell it to you if you want!]
Chris and Joanna came to Siloso Beach but didnt see us, waited at Palawan Beach for 40 minutes, walked to Tanjung Beach and finally walked back to Siloso. Hah. Plus Chris got sand up all the wrong places. :>
Grace has this really cool camera that uses film and has four camera lenses. So every photo you take of yourself, four of you come out in the picture!
And finally, watch out for LINUS. The upcoming volleyball sensation! The group of extremely talented young individuals who played their first match together today[shown above] and named their group after some Ocean's Eleven nonsense. :D

2008-12-25T00:47:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas to you..
Merry Christmas to you..
Merry Christmasss to you-ouuu..
Merrrrrry Christmas to you!

Hmm. That doesn't sound right.
Haha oh well, you get the point!

MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone out there!

2008-12-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

Okay. I'm back! I know its been long, but the absence just makes me miss you more :D (So I'll post more pictures for you) I know you feel the same way yeah? Haha. Anyway, here are the remaining pictures I've got from the Vietnam trip!

That'll be all the pictures I have for now! See you soon guys.

2008-12-15T23:31:00.000+08:00

Hello people! I'm back to put up a few pictures from my trip to Vietnam and possibly narrate or just put captions along the way. I sure do hope you guys like my typing voice. Haha.

Alright, so here we go..
[Captions/Narrations are below pictures]

At the airport! The bags were still pretty light then..
Or maybe I was just stronger at the start of the trip. Hah.

On the boat ride to some island!
The sun was pretty strong.. And warm..

Another boat ride! Except we all got provided with the essential equipment.
It was a 20 minute one with raw rowing power that was pretty nice and peaceful..
But my butt did get rather sore during the ride.. I'm sorry, but nice round butts just aren't meant to be seated on hard square planks. ;)
AND do I look tan! I do right? :D But only on my left arm haha.
Probably was the sun from the boat in the picture above.. (:

The hat was no longer needed. Actually more like not wanted.
Hows that for feeling unwanted Mr.Hat?
[Haha sorry about the outburst, it was an irresistable impulse.]

Anndd, the last picture of the day. Family picture, plus the DAMN cool food.
Check out the fish thats upright in front of me.
PLUS the Orb of Confusion! beside the fish. Haha okay so maybe it ISN'T the Orb of Confusion.. But still, its a ball thats fried on the outside that makes it super crunchy and yummy to eat!

Okay! Thats all for today yeah.
Its time to leave you guys in suspense....

...-suspense-

2008-12-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

Hello! I'm back from Vietnam, and I must say it was quite an experience.. Everything was just nice, from the temperature to the food. Maybe except for the multitude of Chinx haha.

Anyway, I'll probably get to posting the pictures soon, but for now, heres a little sneak pic :D

I do hope you get the sneak part,
with peeking out behind the tree and all ;)
To those who don't: [The HUGE hint is the line above]

2008-12-04T19:03:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving for Vietnam tomorrow morning, for a week.
I'll be back on Thursday evening, 11th December 2008.
But please, to everyone who reads this..

...don't cry ;)

2008-12-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

Hey there again guys! I'm just popping by to post a few more pictures I got from the match against ACS(I). Don't ask me why, but I really like pictures. Their pretty fun to take, and pretty fun to show everyone too. :D They capture moments really well, and I wanna look back next time and laugh.. (:

On a random note: Realised that I have the same look in almost every picture. Good or bad? Thats for you to decide (:

Take your time to scroll down and enjoy! (Drooling is acceptable [: Not too much though. Haha. Just kidding.)

And here's to the BIG one
who's braving the freezing temperatures
in a distant land
(four hours away by plane;)
to take lots of photos,
eat lots of things
and very importantly,
to have fun!

Have fun, and take care yeah!
You're missed (:

2008-11-30T20:34:00.000+08:00

The Yule Reunion!
With special guest appearances: chiahow, kahchee, laura, wengfung and stephanie bay!

It was quite an event, mainly because of the damn good chicken wings and the chocolate cake! Though the number of people who attended was quite dismal.. There were only about 40 out of the 180 or so who were invited :/ But! I guess I had quite a good time eating, chatting and taking pics haha. There was like, a short video for us to watch and reminisce those days while we ate after which there was mass dance. In our Smart Casual attire. o: Sadly, I didn't dance..

Went to serangoon gardens with chia how after the thing ended and chilled at coffee bean till like 11 plus.. The coffee's pretty good, and chia how was watching the simpsons movie that some tiny little girl was watching on a laptop. Hah.

Anyway, I'm rushing off, so I just uploaded a couple of pics for you guys to look at and enjoy (: So do that!

2008-11-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

Been Wondering..

Does trying to be a good friend to more than one make you a flirt?

There have indeed been rumours going about, but I don't really care about those. It's when my friends start wondering whether I'm a flirt that I care. If trying to be a good friend makes me flirt, should I stop being nice to people?

Okay let me be abit more specific, if being good friends with more than ONE girl makes me a flirt, should I stop making friends with girls? Should I just be distant to every single 'less important' one and just focus on being a friend to one?

I don't know. I just don't like people thinking I'm a flirt just cos I make friends with girls.

Or is it just me? Something about me that makes people think I'm such. Tell me.

As for the one who made me think about all these in the first place, I'm sorry, but for now I guess I won't 'flirt' with you anymore, if thats what you think it is. If talking to you, trying to cheer you up when you're down and going out for meals is called flirting and not just being a friend, then I guess I'll just stop what I'm doing.

I really don't know what else to do. I guess I should just be better friends with those who don't think I'm a flirt.

Maybe I'm sounding petty or something. But, I just don't like being thought of as a flirt.

And my mood's been pretty bad.

2008-11-18T21:37:00.001+08:00

Hey guys!

Well, the ACS(I) match went pretty well.. It was really quite good even though we lost 10-0. Thats two tries to none for all you peepos who don't know the rugby scoring system (:

Anyway, this post is more towards emo again :/ I've been having fun times with the guys and all, trust me, it's really been great. But I'm feeling so empty these days. Theres no one to really talk to. Like reallyreally talk to. And no familiar voice to listen to everyday that won't become a irritation or a bore..

But I guess I gotta say thanks to you.. Everytime you talk, you brighten my day :) Seriously. You just know what to say somehow.. (= Thanks very much 88ra :D You should know.

2008-11-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

Gosh, its soooo boring. I need a life. (and money to go with that please:)

I have a match coming up on tuesday against ACS(I).. And it's gonna be crazy man. I'm kinda expecting a terrible outcome, but we'll see how it goes yeah, plus we've got a few new moves to try out. It's gonna be interesting! :D 1 hour 20 minutes of pure entertainment lol.

( PLUSplus, this is gonna be my first time as a flyhalf/standoff for a 15s match. Lets hope all goes well (: )

2008-11-12T21:00:00.000+08:00

Hey!

Hope you had fun training (or slacking) (: lol yes you. you know who you are..
The one who has won me so many times, but I just won yesterday haha. :D

Anyway, sorry I can't link you.. Whenever I try, blogger keeps saying theres an invalid letter or key or something in the URL.

2008-11-07T00:52:00.000+08:00

PW! is finally over..

Thanks for all the memories you guys have given me, and thanks for making the whole process fun and interesting =D Although there were times where there were small little petty problems, its the good memories we cherish eh..

Cheryl: Thanks for your leadership throughout the project work journey, its been a real motivation to us all. And a life-saver at times! I also want to thank you for helping us all do the things that we just didn't do, like our new GPP! You always seemed to be working the hardest (:

ChongChao: Thanks for the hard work you put in and the ideas you gave during all our meetings. Oh, and I must say that you gave some pretty darn good ideas for our project. AND, thanks for being such a clown sometimes, the things you do and the stuff you say seems to break the tension so easily and make us all laugh. =P

Yongxing: Thanks for the retardedness you put into all of us during this project and I know I was pretty harsh/irritating/annoying at times, but thanks for understanding why I get so worked up sometimes (: And thanks for being serious at the right time too.. Especially during the WR and OP period.

Pictures snapped today after our OP.

One of our assessors, Mr Peireira! Aka, our rugby teacher. Lol.

2008-11-04T20:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, there are more than just one way to do something, it just takes more time to ponder over and decide..
I guess I've learned that even when things look like there's only one way out, it's just because we haven't found any other solutions..

I just wanna say, God is really awesome. He lets you be independent and decide everything for yourself, and at the moment when you can't take it anymore and you're just about to fall, and he comes in and lifts you back up on your feet in so many mysterious ways.. He does things that make your day in the subtlest of ways and personally for me, he brought so many of the greatest people into my life.
You know..
I'm just awed.

2008-11-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

SINGULARITY.

When your love is not needed anymore, you give it to someone else.

But there will always be some put aside, for you, and you, and your.

[ok i kinda put the last phrase just to make it rhyme more.
couldn't think of how to write it..
but yeah although i've been single for awhile now..
my heart was still with someone..
but right now,
i truly am.]

2008-11-01T17:58:00.000+08:00

Just got back from a chalet, and I'm shagged out. But no, not because of any special activities. (: The chalet was rather fun.. First time im staying overnight at a chalet for something not officially organised by some organisation or something, so yeah was quite cool. No longer have the "damn-I-needa-go-home-while-everyone's-staying" feeling.

Must say yuen's parents are really quite cool..

Stayed up pretty much the entire night, but finally gave in at about 5 or so? Slept for about an hour before yuenyee and aloy got back, after hearing what happened and seeing her in that state, couldn't really sleep anymore, so just kinda sat there and wondered how could I help :/ Couldn't really think of any way in which I could help.. Feel like there are so many things that I can't do to help anymore.. :/

Pretty much sat&wondered/played psp/chatted till lunch time before going to eat lunch. Went for a movie later. High School Musical 3. Although I was abit reluctant to pay 10 bucks for a HSM show, I guess it was pretty touching and all. Felt quite real..

Went home at 5 plus to bathe before going to meet my cousins at 7. Kinda slept at their place till like 10 plus. Got home at 11, went to sleep.

Today's a Sunday, and I just got back from church and lunch at shokudo! Yummy (: Went to browse Springfield for a while and found a few nice clothes there.. PLUS there's a sale going on. Up to 50%! But sadly, didn't buy anything cos the things I wanted were still pretty expensive. Oh wells. Yup.

2008-10-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

-We only realise the true value of things after we've lost them.

Okay the times are setting in again. Its after exams, I got promoted, holidays are coming up, but I'm just feeling so crappy. Don't take this literally, but its hard for me to face myself in the mirror sometimes, if you know what I mean.. Though it may not seem that way on the outside, I find it hard to keep going sometimes. A part of me has been ripped away and I just cannot go on without it. The worst part is that it was me that ripped it away. And now I don't know if I could ever find it again, or if I could ever heal. Seems like that part healed alot faster than I will ever heal. [Self-regenerative powers eh.]

Maybe it just isn't in me to let go after a true attachment to the person starts eh. I guess it must sound like a pile of bull to you, but this post's title is becoming so real for me.

Nonetheless, today was quite alright. We had 2 hours of school, half of which was spent slacking in a classroom which we were supposed to clean. Turns out we were just sitting around on the tables, slapping butts and bullshitting time away. (:
Went for gym after that. Must say I don't quite like the feeling, but the after effects are rather good.
That about concludes my day. The rest was bullshit :/

I know I know, posts like these = /losereaders
But what can I say, its a blog. And the blog title's that way for a reason yeah. Sorry to all the bored readers out there though.

ANW, my previous post still stands. :)

2008-10-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

Its getting really boring at home. I need to go out. And I need pics anyways!
So...
Dates anyone?
Give me a text or a ring yeah!

Preferably not one to one for dudes please. ;)

2008-10-27T10:51:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone! Could you guys give me a hand with this thingy.

http://www.emailcashpro.com/?source=[Friend's Email]&r=muchachi

Just sign up and click on the email ads it sends you occasionally! It might not be much, but its still some extra cash (: Help me out alright, its all in your fingers :D

2008-10-22T18:23:00.000+08:00

Lol. I'm bored. Heres something that I did..

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	High
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	High

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

Damn. Very low lust. I'll work on it soon (: Too tired by PW to lust anything...

Or not ;)

2008-10-20T23:27:00.000+08:00

Pictures.

Their intricacy is so amazing. Many a time the first thing you see in a picture is probably its most shallow meaning. Dive deeper into it and you will see the picture behind the picture. Whats to be seen, or what isn't?

2008-10-17T00:25:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, sorry for non-existant posts I've been promising before the exams. PW has been really crazy lately and now I'm catching a short little break before heading back into my WR. Its all for you guys. [: Your welcome. Hah.

Anyway, results are out and I kinda have mixed feelings about them.. I didn't meet the expectations I set for myself but I guess I did pass all the impt subjects anyway. Heres the list:

.
H1 GP - 48/100 [E]

H2 Physics - 49/100 [E]
H2 Geography - 61/100 [B]
H2 Maths - 51.5/100 [D]
H2 Economics - 48/100 [E]
H1 Chinese 43.1/100 [S]
.

Well, I guess on the bright side thats all I need to promote to next year..

2008-10-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, if your looking for some clothes, do come and visit Moda Reina! Its my friend's so no worries about problems with the transactions of goods yeah (:

http://modareina.livejournal.com/

Have a look around, stocks are currently being cleared so everything's prices have been slashed!

2008-10-13T21:05:00.000+08:00

Reminiscing.

10th October 2008. 404 Class Gathering.

2008-10-13T20:48:00.000+08:00

My Sincerest Apologies to all my loyal readers for my totally uninteresting posts of late. These few posts are for those who really give a damn and if you have no inclination into caring about others, then this is the point where you should stop reading and do something more productive.

Its been quite a rough time I've been having and I'd be a fool to expect all these problems to end here. You see, some problems I've created simply cannot be fixed. They are intertwined into my very being, my very existence, and severing them would mean making myself cease to exist.

When it comes to the matters of the heart, living with its problems wear you down, trying to solve them simply kills you. Why was love created to be so painful? Or is it merely our selfish and greedy ways that makes love that way.. I'm wondering.

Yet again, my apologies for the rantings of a guy who's facing problems in life some of which many of us face, others exclusively created by him, for him alone. What irony.

i pretty much suck.

2008-10-10T00:23:00.000+08:00

life is such a sad thing sometimes.
and when things aren't going the way you wanted them to go,
you begin to realise you're nothing more than a frail leaf
being blown about so strongly by the winds of uncertainty.

what makes it worse,
is that we aren't very wise.
and we tend to make mistakes that end up with us
losing those we cherish the most.

those that keep us warm when the coldest of gales blow,
those that stand by us when the hottest of droughts come by,
and put simply,
those that have been with us through it all.

after some time we change,
and we think that we can go on by ourselves,
and we fall from the branches holding us up,
only to get trampled on the ground beneath.

i've made a multitude of mistakes in my life,
some i will forever regret.
but like a leaf trampled on the ground,
there is no way things will ever be the same as before i fell.

i guess its pretty much my own to blame,
and for that,
i pretty much despise myself.
what an idiot i must be.

2008-10-09T21:44:00.000+08:00

im sad.

2008-10-07T09:11:00.001+08:00

Hey guys.. Exams just ended! But its getting boring already :/ And the prospect of PW and Chinese A Levels is simply horrendous. Actually not so much chinese lol, thats just another time waster. PW is the crazy thing here and its gonna start again pretty soon.. So all the best to all your guys with PW.
And not forgetting the majority of the population of this blog's readers of course, those who take chinese seriously and all. All the best to you o.o

Anyway, heres another DEmotivator for all you guys to help you through (:

I don't really have anything to post today.. But the moment I have stuff to post, it'll be up. Count on it. [I know you rely on this blog to survive ;)]

2008-09-25T16:35:00.000+08:00

Hi all you nubbiecakes :D
Lol. Self-declared ending of examinations is such a spirit lifter. especially when you exams actually end 2 weeks later.. Okays I'll properly update once I actually have substantial things worth updating about, or when I find random shit on the net thats worth the eyes of all you loyal readers.
I should probably study for chinese tomorrow eh? Naaaah. Lol.
Okay then guys, see you soon [:

2008-09-16T01:11:00.000+08:00

I love this. The simplistic sadism of real life. At its best.
[And yes, I decided to in the end.]
[And now I'm hungry lol. Damn.]

2008-09-16T00:58:00.000+08:00

NEED SLEEP.
Lol. Just put up links for my blog and its just a couple cos I wanted to try it out first. I realised that either I have very few guy friends that blog, or I'm an utter gay. I'd prefer to stick with the former lol, but if anyone has any objections, feel free to raise them and give me a 'YOUR GAY' shoutout.

Hah alrights apparently PW does get into your head when you're 1 week away from promos and you are staying not to study but to do PW! And yes, you mr/miss/mrs/it reader, you know you're getting desperate when you start doing PW and forsake your studies. And no buts! Not even if its cos you have a deadline to meet. You're desperate. Thats final.
PS: Aren't we all. Don't worry, you're not alone.

Alrights I'm off to sleep. Currently 1:05 AM on a Tuesday morning. I'll start posting more often after promos and hopefully with more interesting stuff. [photos too!] Kinda like photos cos they say alot, and all I gotta do is click a few buttons and wait ^.^ Ahh yes, I gotta catch some movies after promos too, its been awhile since I watched any. Seriously. Its been a looong while. So yeah if you're interested give a quick text or smth. Otherwise catch up with you guys soon! [unless i choose to slack and come online lol]
[Pondering on whether to include a nice little picture for a visual effect now. If you saw a post above, then yes, I decided to]

2008-09-14T23:20:00.001+08:00

Heres another nice little post, dedicated to all my loyal readers.. Especially to the one that forced me to do this post, like reallyreallyreally forcibly insisted that i do a post know for all to read. Lol. So here goes.

Lifes getting pretty boring with exams round the corners and all we ever do is mug. So i went on the net one fine day and got myself a good website. One that gave me the push in the right direction. And the picture simply emphasises on what we all need to do. Take a peek:

Sorry bout the quality of the picture, it looks a whole lot better as a desktop wallpaper, trust me (: Oh and if any of you are interested in looking at more of such posters, follow the website at the bottom of the picture. I'll be putting up more of these every now and then for all you guys out there. So remember, start getting laaaazy! Everyone's doing it lol.

Disclaimer: Author of this blog isn't to be held responsible for any screwups in life because of the above. And yes, sorry I took awhile to post there, but at least its longer than yours! :P Muaha.

2008-09-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

Hey there avid readers,

Sorry i have not been posting for quite awhile. Nothing has been of particular interest and I have been studying quite hard you see. Well, at least more than previously for the latter. So now I have decided to do a quick little post just to let you guys know that this blog is not being abandoned! Nor is it going to end up at the SPCB. [Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Blogs] Hah it sounds so much better when its for the animals. :/ Alright, so I just glanced at my teacher's announcement online about the geog test happening next week and even though he is giving us hints so explicitly, the amount of stuff i have to study and regurgitate next monday is pretty horrendous. Its a good thing I spent my entire day going through 3 chapters of geog today... or not. Apparently I simply read through those 3 short chapters and went about with my daily slackerzoid routine.

Next up, I read this email that I got from my friend who moved to Australia a few years ago. Apparently it was a speech some guy gave at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. It was a pretty long speech, so I'll paraphrase for him and give you the gist of it. Generally, he told the graduates: "Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone." Yes, it sounds really.. weird. But hey, after reading it I kinda got his meaning. Heres an excerpt about the part on 'Love Someone'. [Kinda expected of me already eh? To choose this out of the four. Well, regrettably, its not because I'm some loveydovey mushy guy or something but because I felt that this part had much meaning, and it brings with it a new point of view on love.] Go ahead:

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Yup so thats about it for today. A nice little post just to keep this blog alive and of course not forgetting to keep you readers alive too. (:

Joshua.

2008-08-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

Haha I twiddled with the camera and changed the effects using PhotoDJ.
My little tries at being artistic and all.. enjoy (:

A little cartoon effect from the back of the class!

And this ones abit more special. It took me awhile to tweak all the tiny little settings, lighting, contrast, texture and more. I kinda like the outcome.. Its kinda different from normal pictures but i just can't put my finger on what it is.. And it looks better on the phone! Trust me, on the comp screen the resolution makes it kinda normalified.

2008-08-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

Lonely days.. How i adore them. And the weather simply accentuates the whole ambience. The light rain, the cool temperatures and the chilly breezes. They're great (: I kinda agree with the fact that things were done for a reason, and its up to us how we want to live it out, whether its through sadness or happiness. Everything has a silver lining, its just how you see it..

2008-08-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

to the miss whose sister's celebrating her birthday today,

my apologies to you for going crazy and doing and saying lotsa stupid stuff..
i guess i just needed some time to get my mind right.

would you mind starting over as friends?
leave me a tag with ur answer, or just say something, anywhere. (:
oh and happy birthday to ur sis too!

2008-08-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

The hope has faded while my heart beats on,
with each beat hurting more than the last.
Soon my heart will cease to go on,
and I will come to pass.

So I'll set it in stone
and wait.

Hearing anything from me months ago would not have changed anything. Neither does hearing anything now nor hearing anything in the future. It will never change a thing, unless you make it so.

Now its my turn to wait to hear from you.
And hope that its the news I've been wanting to hear.

And let me be honest here,
Have you not made me into a stranger yourself. It feels like you're the one pushing me away, doesn't it?

2008-08-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

What do you think a guy would do when hes down and out of the game AND has a big pile of time to doodle and write during boring lessons?

This was earlier today. Way earlier.. The handwriting sucks thanks to me. I didn't really bother to write it neatly at all cause I never thought i would show anyone this, let alone the fact that anyone would ever see this. But i like the way this blog gets me to put up stuff thats so personal. So yeah. And yeah i probably should get over all this emo-shittiness cause it doesn't get my anywhere and it probably just makes me less.. of a person. The heart sucks so bad when its not content. Oh well. Sigh.

Oh yes, just a little something else:

Sometimes when you are all alone, there's a warm feeling on your shoulder. And then there is this enlightening, which sometimes makes you feel like you can fly. Next comes the whirlwind, where a huge tornado comes towards you and threatens to swing you far into the sky. But somehow, your feet are rooted to the ground. And you wonder, what happened? What kind of miracle was that? It was how a special someone came up to you and tapped you on your shoulder, and how He then took all your burdens away from you and stayed with you, protecting and comforting you when everything was a complete mess. The next time the whole world feels like its coming to the end, just believe that He'll be there, waiting to comfort you.

I'll be there. As best as i can (:

2008-08-04T21:58:00.000+08:00

Gosh. Putting pictures like these make me seem so gay. But what the heck, its an emotional breakdown. I've lost all control of emotions. So am i happy or sad? (:(

And now everyone knows.

2008-08-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

I doubt you will read this, or by the time you do you would have probably forgotten about me. But this one's for you..

Memories of you drift through my mind as i live this pathetic excuse of a life and now everything i'm doing and everything i've done just doesn't seem to add up. I'm not proud of what I've done and I would do anything to take it all back. I know you have him now. And I know its too late for me and all hope is gone, but I just hope you know I've never stopped loving you, I still do, and I always will. I know you're too caring to say it straight to me, but from what I've heard from you, you've made it very clear, and I know that that 'someday' will never come again. Irregardless, I will still wait as long as I can for you and hope that I may be wrong about what you really mean.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Theres something that many people think they have, but few are likely to find out what it really is and why it was ever created...

What is it?
its something thats indescribable.

something like the breeze that blows gently across your cheeks everyday, invisible to you and me, but still there.

its something that runs through your veins, as though it has been there ever since the day you were born.

get a thousand of the best writers in the world, or even the poets of Greece, but none would ever know how to express themselves to you.

maybe a singer or two may know what it is, but they wont be able to sing it for you.

even a dancer would not be able to twirl you into understanding the simplicity of it.

but thats where i come in.
thats why im here.
and the faint image of what it really is slowly appears.

im just hoping that you won't forget why i've been holding on to you.

I guess I will never get to make the last sentence come true, but in here, I've never let you go. And now, memories are all that I have to try and figure out what the thing ever was. Or I may not find out at all. No matter how this will all end, I love you and you will always be here in my heart.

2008-08-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

bleah. emo-shietz.

2008-07-31T23:12:00.000+08:00

My reputation will probably slide down the slippery path to God-knows-where after posting this. But, the boredom is simply killing me and I need some spark to brighten my night up.

Lol woah, was just surfing through ljsecret.livejournal.com and I came across this. Won't all we chauvinistic males love this. Things like this happen somewhere deep down in the recesses of our filthy minds. o: A joyride nonetheless.

2008-07-31T21:42:00.000+08:00

Hey there all you peepos! Today was quite a great day for me, despite the extremely tough maths test we had in the morning.. The tutorials we were given did not give us any practice on the questions that came out for the test [or maybe its just cause I'm lousy].
BUT, on a lighter, more euphoric note, today's common lunch break [that is, Thursday 31 July 2008] was probably one of the most memorable common lunch breaks i have had since the start of my time in NYJC. Thanks to all my friends, supporters AND classmates[ruth,garfield,monkey], I'm Mr Nanyang! o: Haha sorry for the slight tinge of ego, but there ya have it and I cant say I'm not happy I got the title.

Just wanna thank all my friends and supporters AND classmates here firstly for nominating me [whoever you may be], encouraging me to join The Hunt 2008 and voting for me! Special commendations to RJ, Lilan, Ying Chen and Elysia for helping me through, and Ruth, Wendeline and XuanXuan for the support lol. thank you guys once again :D

Yup. And just to end this post off, heres a little egoistical, zilian, bhb, or whatever-you-wanna-call-it picture :D Taken the day we were briefed and seen for the first time by the council members.

2008-07-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

Random post:
I was just letting my mind wander about stuff, and I think I have come to a conclusion!

Just for the record, and I think I'm speaking on behalf of a vast majority of the male population - the minority being the gays of course, that we do not like girls to be mysterious. A little bit of mystery, so to say, keeps things interesting and all [occasionally raising'interesting' to 'spicy' but lets not go there shall we ;)] , but we definitely do not like to be guessing about almost everything that has to do with you, us or both of us for that matter.

2008-07-21T20:44:00.000+08:00

Hey there guys, the past few posts haven't exactly been the most upbeat, hip and cool things someone could blog about, but they had to be said. But, thankfully I THINK I'm all better now and thus a nice little post for ye faithful readers (:
This post is about my LTC experience and my group, LoveGood! =D

LoveGood!
For all you people out there who are still unknowing of this amazing group of leaders, and friends. A group of people to be really specific. (:

Many a critique have commented on this picture. Apparently I look like I'm smoking, and enjoying every bit of it while staring with that look. However, I would love to pop that bubble of theirs [and presumably yours] that I am smoking. [Why that may be yours or their bubbles, I have no idea.] Anyhow, this was meant to be an emo shot in essence. Enjoy.

Haha a little twist for all you good people :) From Jun Yan and me.

Me, Jun Yan and Brian. Bra-thers.

Well, this was pretty fun (: It was a waltz that we were taught and had to dance during the campfire. Or 'Yule Ball' so they say.

2008-07-16T17:40:00.000+08:00

Wednesday 16th July 2008
I don't know how to say it.
But simply put,
I don't like getting played.
and it's happened twice this year alone.

Their starting to give me bad impressions. Soon it won't be worth it no more. Nothing will.

2008-07-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

Tuesday 15th July 2008.
I heard something about someone today.
And I don't think I am very happy with that particular someone.
I don't think people should act this way.
And I don't think I deserve it either.
Go find someone else who deserves it.

2008-07-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

Hey there guys, misters, missus and mistresses! Just got back from Leadership Training Camp 2008 at Changi Coast Adventure Centre and its been a long tiring four days.. Apologies for no posts and so heres a quickie just to appease all you folks who are looking for a random picture, a picture that gets you thinking or, in an unlikely circumstance, a picture that lets you know more about me.

Well yeah, what the picture said, and hopefully with the opportunity of a special someone to be there to share those moments with me. The moments which started creating those laugh lines and the moments in time to come when they are looked at and cherished.

2008-06-30T22:25:00.000+08:00

Quick pics for East Coast Park on Sunday! I'll probably do tha captions some other time or something..

2008-06-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

Heres the extra random non-related post i know you guys have been waiting for:
AND an extra couple'a sentences:
When I was three, my mom would tell my brother and me that we could make the stoplight turn green if we blew the red one out like a birthday candle.

Once, my grandfather was in the car and we got to a red light, and my brother and I started blowing at the red light. He thought we were having asthma attacks, and my mom explained everything. At the next light he did it with us.

He died a few months later, and this is the only memory I have of him. I'm 18 now, and I still mentally try to blow out stoplights.

2008-06-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

Hellos to all! I know i probably shouldn't be here blogging right now especially since im in the middle of my exams, but i dont have any papers tmr, so im here to post some pictures that happened last week.
[the more recent ones being on top]
Ok, so here goes:

SUNDAY:

Justin[:my brother], me, Peiying and Grace! Church service just ended, and grace had her camera, so as usual, she whipped it out and thus, these pictures.

Erm, i guess grace isn't that good at aiming with the camera yet D: but at least half of my brother's face was captured (:

Yup.

FRIDAY:

me, Chris, Grace. We just had a day out at Sentosa and we all got pretty burnt lol. But we didn't manage to get pictures with the rest.. That was kinda sad. Anyway, we went with quite a huge group. I'll list them out later. Carrying on;

My brother, Grace and Breanna! Haha okay they don't look very burnt here. My brother didn't even look slightly red at all after the whole day at the beach. Probably cos hes really tan already.

Hah this picture is funny. No idea what my brother was looking at =P

And here we are on the monorail back to vivo. I gather that you should be able to tell who's who in this photo from the captions in the last few photos, UNLESS you didn't read them! Then i would be rather sad, cos im writing all these long, long captions for nothing. But anyhow, yet again, here we are.

BTW: My tans disappearing. wth. That was damn fast. :/
And heres the list of people who went to sentosa on friday, just for memories' sake: Shawn, Christopher, Isaac, Breanna, Charlene, Peiying, Cheryl, GraceC, GraceF, Justin, Jeremy and Joshua!
[sorry if i forgot whether you went, my brains whacked from maths and physics papers, a worthy excuse wouldn't you agree]:D

ANDD: Thats all folks (: Once again, ill grace you peeps with an extra post of a non-related picture totally. Later. If i remember. Nights!

2008-06-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

An extra picture for the pleasure of everyone! at least for those who were smart enough to know my blog address. i was surfing, being bored and all and i chanced upon it, oh the simplicity of it.

oh gosh. im running an appetite for you.
but you seem so distant, you're not here nor there, though i see you everywhere.
a poem is not to be trusted.

and so i leave you peeps with this.

2008-06-13T21:49:00.000+08:00

well i know i havent been posting for a long long time but im back! haha and well, life's been getting better. stress and pressure buildup for my mid years in one week, but im feeling great. been making friends and all, friends that have always been around, friends that never made it past us being acquaintances.. and now, PICTURES!

just a random picture from raffles city - esprit. the next best thing you could do when ur shopping but cant buy much, [or anything for that matter] is to wear the stuff you like and take pictures! hah.

heres another random pic, me and jacques were rather bored sitting next to the fountain waiting for a-person-whose-name-slips-my-mind. and if you are wondering, yes thats his name and you pronounce it as jug. although i prefer calling him jackass[jac-ques] sometimes.

memories are great, and yeah i have the luxury of thinking back and remembering myself kicking a HCI guy. it was my first A Divs match in rugby and yes i know i dont look the size. i get that alot. heh but believe me, ive been through it, and size barely makes a difference in rugby. imma kick some fat guys butt!
anw back to the topic, yup it was real muddy. my friend got faceplanted and he kinda ate a mouthful of gritty poo. and for the record, NY BEAT HCI 22-5 in A Divisions 2008!

just a little something for those who wanna see a friendlier side of me, thats me! and RJ! haha shes seriously the nicest girl you could ever meet, reallyreally seriously. shes like an angel or something.. and this was taken after the Student Leaders Investiture 2008 in NYJC.
PS: we are just friends. real good friends!

don't you love the memories. im keeping them coming [: this was taken in 2008 too, though we had already graduated in 2007, we had to go back to collect our results, and apparently as this picture can tell, it was worth it. thats mrs lim, our amaths teacher, the best ever. and thats my class, 404. gosh remembering things brings about such emotions you can barely describe.

And its on to Church Camp 2008!

theres me and mark zhou! smiling away like always.

yep, thats me with charlene, grace and peiying! and when i first saw it, i was thinking. damn this makes me look so skinny and pimpified.

now theres all of us! charlene, grace, me, mark and peiying. its quite sad i didnt any photos with the rest.. this photos were quite impromptu too, when we were waiting for the service to start and nobody was there yet, grace went, PICTURES! yup.

and thats about it for this post. hoping for more pictures soon, and thanks be to god for single thing he has done in my life, right from the start, when he chose to bring me here :)

2008-01-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

Gah.
theres a void right there, just above my stomach and just in front of my lungs.

whats the use of trying and trying, but never getting anywhere in the end.
things are falling apart. im torn. and certain someones are suffering.
wth.
but right now, i miss her like hell. but theres like nothing i can do.
poofed.

well. these happened before it happened.
yeah. their all great. honestly.

here goes:
I always wanted more from you
than you were willing to give;
So now we've gone our separate ways
each with different lives to live.

The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.

I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scars.

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly through your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares.

2007-09-11T22:48:00.001+08:00

Oh yes,
please do leave comments.
It would hearten me to know there IS someone who actually bothers to read out there (:

You could remain anonymous though.

AND!

Heres a fishey for all you guys to enjoy.

2007-09-11T22:39:00.000+08:00

The Second. Meh.
Hey theres. i just switched the comp on and got pretty excited when my friend told me that he was gonna be playing badminton tmr with 2 other of my friends. but guess what, my mother said NO, NO! its time to study.
I mean. come on! its just a freaking hour where i can relax just a tiny little bit. but oh noooo. she wants me to study. -.-

ON a better note, its been pretty good between me and her now (: stuff are fine. and i guess im having an extra week of holidays because the other classes are having exams :>

alright.
thats all for now.

2007-08-30T16:44:00.000+08:00

Meh. The First.

I am rather sure everyone has experienced moments in their life,

when all seems lost and the only way out is to shut off and shut out everythinng.

Well,

I can say that experiencing it is definitely not one of the better things in our lives,

but somehow,

we just need to go through it.

I guess its cause it simply makes you feel so much better after you get over it.

I am pretty much having a rather bad time today. Its not like i would put myself in such a state on purpose. Its just that everything seems so distant right now. I stare at my comp and i feel bored, stare out of the house and i know i have no where to go, stare at a book and my eyelids close. Nothing seems to work.

Even talking to my dearest just seems like something very unimportant. I stll cherish her, but right now, i just cannot do anything but waste my time away. To make matters worse, this empty feeling inside me seems to be contagious, and i keep feeling like i may one day pass it to her.

I am still fine though, thanks to her smiles, words and affection. I owe her so much..

One thing though. I am no emo kid. And i never would want to be. Sometimes things just do not happen the way you want them to be. And some time later, you start regretting what you have done, and contemplate what you can do to make things right. However, there doesn't seem to be a way out. And i feel like i have dug myself deeper and deeper into the well, without a rope to hoist myself up after i am done digging.

Feelings and emotions do not come out so often from me. But when they do. I'll do my best to put them here, cause theres nowhere else to put them, and keeping them in me would just wreck everything.

PS: I really would not mind a hug every now and then, just to take this all away. But of course, who would look at this eh? Kidding myself aren't I.

Heres me.